Inquiring female readers want to know! First, no I don’t go out with the golf bachelors. For goodness sake ladies some of these gents are young enough to be my son. Not that there is anything wrong with younger men… with their great deal of stamina who hang on an experienced woman’s every word. But it is still no.
Women have called me to inquire about some one who’s been featured and how to ask them out for a golf date. I like to share with them the things I have experienced regarding men and golf dating. My take on the subject is that a golf outing (hypothetical date) starts in the parking lot where he, hopefully, is generous with the cart attendants as he tips appropriately. Better than usual, because I (of course) am picking up the greens fees, drinks, food, and other necessities for the round, is being comped. But he doesn’t know that.
I like to make my guest feel at ease before the game. Especially because they think I would be really good. NOT! I must also mention here that I personally don’t except golf dates with smokers. There’s something tacky about a person who throws their dirty little habit around the beautifully sculpted surroundings and thinks sand traps are large ash trays.
The first tee. He hits a decent drive and you give a little cheer of encouragement. Or, he hits from the tips and doesn’t get past the ladies tees, never making mention of that unspoken rule.
The first couple of holes are the discovery time, you know… how many siblings, where are the parents, does he love his mother, what he does for a living (if he even has a job), the basics. There is a little nervous golf talk. You know, how long it’s been since I broke 90, old sports injuries, sun is in my eyes, your legs are distracting… or you catch him looking up your skort while you are lining up a putt thinking it is a short skirt instead. I like to work on the theory of, “keep the conversation going along with lots of over done laughter after our errant shots,” and he’ll hopefully get comfortable and have fun.
We’ve all heard it a million times, “you can learn a lot about someone on a golf cart for four hours”. This is true.
Hopefully things are going pleasant enough that you want to continue on to the back nine and not want to poke him in the eye with a long tee, or call the ranger over for security. Don’t laugh; I’ve been dangerously close to this.
On to the back we go. For me the back nine is always much better played because I’m more relaxed and I allow myself a glass of something with some “medicine” in it. This can also make your date more interesting and your jokes seem funnier, so you think anyway. By the 16th you’re grippin’ and rippin’ like you’ve played in the Club Couples events together and know when rake his trap or tend the pin. The two of you give a polite little hug or shake, enjoying a beautiful Florida sunset on the 18th green.
At first glance this may seem superficial, but gentlemen listen and learn. Always, always, make sure your equipment and shoes are clean. Most golfers are image conscious so this is not usually an issue. Thanks to all of my really wonderful golf dates that have developed into life long friendships.